Sometimes we let expectations get in the way of seeing what's real. I know that for the year following my husband's death (and beyond, truth be told) I missed a lot and i really don't know whether I contributed much to society, to the world.
So try not to feel disheartened by my lack of knowing things that you take for granted. I wasn't a real news watcher to begin with and when something as major as losing my husband occurred, everything else just sort of fell away and lost any import.
I had no idea that there was a hurricane about these parts until a tree literally fell on our house.
The deaths of several celebrities and world figures were news to me just the other day - these passings of a year or so ago. I was unaware that the Samsung phones were exploding or that the Dixie Chicks had made a comeback!
I am saying i missed a lot. A lot of stuff that becomes trivial when my world has, once again, been turned inside out.
I am seeing a therapist (i highly recommend someone you can vent to who does not judge).
i am tending to my physical needs as well; seeing doctors and getting things repaired. I am even getting back into volunteering with at risk kids. My painting is therapeutic as well as beginning to provide extra money. All these things i am doing without the love of my life.
And it is phenomenally hard.
The goings on of the outer world are starting to interest me somewhat...with a presidential race so vile, who could miss it?
Maybe I'll catch up. Maybe not.
Either way, i ask that you have mercy on me. Don't expect more than i can give right now.
You can fill me in on what I've missed when the time feels right.
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