It's been a while...

"It's been a while now since..."
And don't think i don't know that you expect me to be DONE.
No, not all of you.
Some very close to me, however, seem to think enough time has passed since my latest loss that i ought to be WELL; that my tears ought to be dried; that my heart should be DONE with grieving.
They want me to get back to NORMAL!
As i have said before: THIS is the new normal.  This is me.  Me, with a heart broken open.  Me, with eyes at the ready to shed whatever tears may come.  Me, flawed and a little scared; a little tentative to get back into the world with its demands to be over it.
Yeah.  I'll never be over it.  You cannot love deeply and remain the same after losing your partner, friend, spouse, child, dear one.
So, instead of having expectations that fit what you need to see, why not ask what is next for me? Come to me with a willingness to be uncomfortable, to be challenged.  I will let you know when i am ready to start anew.
You say you love me.  Will you help me cross a threshold that is foreign to me?  Will you hold my hand?