It's been a little while since I've been on here. Please forgive me; and speaking of forgiving, it is the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday they call it. I'm not shopping. I'm sitting and writing this instead.
My dogs are at my feet. The door is open so we have a breeze coming through in this Tampa tropic.
We will go for a walk in a little while, the little dog and me. We have some magazines to take to the little library box around the corner. It's really cool. The books are free; there's no checkout system. You just get one if you want one and put one in if you don't need it anymore. So that's what we're going to do.
This is my second Thanksgiving without my husband, David, and it sucks! Big time.
We used to spend Thanksgiving Day going from my Mom's to David's Mom's and home again.
Wearing ourselves out but enjoying the visit and the food and the pictures.
Yesterday was not like that at all. My son is working and my grandchildren are busy elsewhere. I spent the day reading and playing games - the same as most days. I DID eat some bean pie. It wasn't what i craved.
And i grieved.
I grieved for what WAS. I grieved for the life i used to enjoy. I grieved for that which will never - NEVER - be the same.
My friends are mostly back in Texas, some are in NY and Cali and points in between. They send me love across the net. I'm grateful for them and their thoughts.
AND i grieve that i can not reach out and physically touch them.
Maybe next year will be better; though i don't depend on it. Maybe I'll be less depressed and have friends here who will include me in their celebrations.
Maybe.
Until then, i grieve.
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