Pleeeease refrain from the repetition of that worn out word.
It is not okay that my grandson, who had such gifts and wisdom and so many worlds to conquer, because the anguish was too great, took himself off this plane; took his own life rather than sit one more day with the voices and the pain.
It will also never ever be okay that my rock, my heart- mate, my companion of more than 46 years is nowhere on this earth to be found; that his human self is no more.
I realize i say it's ok at times when someone is struggling. We say it because we don't know what else to do.
You really don't have to say anything at all. Just be here with me. Be available. Be ready to listen. Be.
Someday i will reach a point where i no longer feel the bitterness of life jerked away from me. The pain will surely lessen and my eyes will dry a bit.
Maybe i will accept that life, living is not fair...
The nature of the beast is such that we begin our habitation of these feeble, fleshy bodies with the end-game being death. The cessation of existence in this current form. Most days that is not as heavy as it is today. Most days.
You can help by understanding that i will never be simply "okay" again. The hurt will never be absent. I am irrevocably changed both by the crossing of my dear ones and by having loved them so completely.
