The loss of a loved one to suicide is so very different from most other losses. It brings with it so many layers of pain and confusion, so many questions that will always be unanswered, at least in this lifetime.
It has been much harder for me to accept my grandson's death than any other that I have experienced in my entire life. It's hard to even know how to ask for what I need. Those questions about why what if how...they remain unanswered and, indeed, none would satisfy me i suspect.
The one BIG thing i ask is that you ask...how i am, if i need to talk. And that you acknowledge my pain.
Please do not let that perceived stigma of societal fear of all things to do with mental health stand in your way. Be brave...i am trying to be.
Mental illness is NOT a dirty secret to be locked away and left unspoken. It is real. It is debilitating - both for those suffering with it and those who care about someone who does. It does not help ANYONE to ignore it. It certainly does not bring solutions.
I need you to honor that my child lived, that he meant the world to me and that i shall always have a hole in my heart. I need you to speak about him with respect.
If you know someone who has lost a person to suicide or who has attempted it themselves please allow them a safe space to express the hurt, anger, fear and all the other emotions that they most probably suppress in daily life.
Offer your strength when i feel weak, your understanding when i am confused and your heart when i feel hopeless.
Namaste'.
