A friend of mine, Devin Wright, has written a book called 'When Touch Becomes a Luxury'. The title alone almost brings me to my knees.
Something true for me and perhaps not true for all is that I am severely touch deprived. Since my husband's passing i am sorely missing the big, enveloping bear hugs he gave me. I could simply walk into his energy field and he would encompass me with love. I am, without a doubt, living in a lack of touch.
What to do? Go out and hug strangers? Probably not a good idea! They have laws you know.
So I set about to find a way to meet my needs. Your friend who is experiencing deep grief may have the same issues as me. They may also be seeking simple human touch. Knowing them as you do you can venture that touch. Allow them a safe space to express their needs. And, if you can, reach out physically... A Simple Touch on the arm is often enough.
For me i have determined that massage will no longer be a luxury. I will commit to having frequent massages as a part of my ongoing Health Care. And more hair styling appointments as i love the feel of fingers in my hair.
I am also intrigued by what my friend just told me about as a partial answer to this need...a cuddle group. Now before you become concerned I am researching them. There are several in the country and a couple here in Florida. These groups are facilitated by a trained and documented and vetted person with the goal of meeting our human touch needs.
I will keep you posted on this possibility...i admit to reservations about meeting strangers for such intimate sharing of feelings...AND i see how therapeutic it could be. A group of concerned and compassionate people gathering to support one another on a platonic and heart based level.
Wish me luck. And remember that someone in mourning may not be able to express this longing for contact.
Good grieving to you.
